Episode 11
Series Finale of Dining Room Chairs Event: The Reviews - The Aftermath
Checking in! Hey everyone!
What happened in the years that followed being trapped in a room? Find out! Tying up some loose ends, and finding out "where are they now" (including the dining room chairs!) in this series finale of Dining Room Chairs Event: The Reviews.
Transcript
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::Welcome to the Dining Room Chairs event.
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::I'm Jen DeHaan, who drove from Canada to
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::California in late December 2022 to attend an
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::event I found on Facebook.
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::Either the event is currently happening, will happen,
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::or it was all a bit.
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::I don't know, but I'm sitting here reviewing
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::it while I wait.
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::Review Update 10, Dining Room Chairs event, rating
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::2 out of 10.
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::So Bettina didn't like the gloves.
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::She looked down at them with mild disdain
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::before launching into a lovely five-minute piece
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::on the so-called sittern that was actually
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::a ukulele.
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::She plucked the strings with a festive flair
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::that I can only call mesmerizing.
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::If you can be mesmerized by how bad
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::a performance is, I guess.
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::Then she packed up and took off into
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::the darkness.
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::It was perhaps the most excitement in my
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::entire stay at this non-event, although I
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::am mildly disappointed my gloves did not impress
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::her.
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::I think Bettina also had concerns about my
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::general cleanliness.
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::There is a toilet here, but no shower.
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::I have been rinsing off in the sink
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::with the one small hand cloth that hangs
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::on the plastic ring next to the mirror.
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::It's lackluster at best.
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::I have started to draw a mural on
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::the east-facing wall about my experience in
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::this room.
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::It mainly consists of stick figures and emoticons.
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::Not emojis, but honest-to-goodness emoticons in
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::thought bubbles above the stick figures.
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::Of course, most of the stick figures are
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::me, because I'm the only one here.
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::But I have now depicted Bettina with a
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::disgust emoticon above her head and the person
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::Daryl who delivered the nachos a while back
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::who's been bringing me some more veganized nachos
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::and bean burritos on occasion.
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::Maybe Daryl will enjoy my gloves.
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::Hello.
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::Thank you for opening the door for me
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::so quickly and expediently.
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::My name is Marjorie.
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::I just wanted to introduce myself.
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::Hey Marjorie, Jen.
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::I am the local roving or mobile, depending
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::on which term you like better.
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::Roving mobile library here.
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::This is the library.
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::It's fully mobile because it's in this wagon.
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::Oh, is that a radio flyer?
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::Wow, you are really good at that.
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::That is a radio flyer wagon indeed.
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::I did know that it was commonly known
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::in circles, I guess, such as yourself.
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::Wow, that is a really...
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::I'm sorry for observing, but I'm just a
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::really observant person.
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::A really empty, cavernous kind of space you've
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::got there going on.
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::Nothing in there so much there, but that
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::is some nice artistry that you have.
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::Oh, thanks.
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::I drew it myself.
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::Anyways, sorry.
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::I'm here for the mobile roving mobile library.
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::Okay.
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::Can I step you through a little bit
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::of the library?
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::I would love that.
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::I don't have a card catalog, and there's
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::no microfiche.
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::If you know what either of those things
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::are, depending on your generation, I don't want
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::to assume.
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::I do.
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::So this book right here that you can
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::see.
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::Yeah, nice.
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::There, it's called The Button Pusher.
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::Yeah, nice.
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::It's not about...
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::Oh, shoot.
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::I can't...
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::I said I wouldn't do any spoil...
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::You know, if I spoil a book, sometimes
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::people punch me in the nose.
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::Oh, I won't.
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::I don't want that again.
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::I won't do it.
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::Some people like being punched in the nose.
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::Some people like their buttons being pushed, apparently.
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::No judging.
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::I did it.
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::That was another spoiler.
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::Oh.
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::Please don't punch me.
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::I won't.
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::I really won't.
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::Thank you.
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::Look, I have this other book here.
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::It's called The Wind of the Willows.
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::It's very popular.
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::It's been checked out two times.
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::It's...
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::You know what?
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::I was almost going to tell you what
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::it's about.
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::It might be about wind and willows, trees.
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::It might not be.
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::I'm not going to tell you.
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::No spoilers.
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::Don't punch me.
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::I won't.
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::I really won't.
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::Anyways, look, I don't want to waste your
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::time.
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::You're obviously very busy in your empty cavernous
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::room, so I think I'm just going to
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::go.
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::But I just want to...
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::Here, I'm going to leave you my card.
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::Oh, thank you.
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::You can contact me if you want me
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::to come by with this mobile roving or
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::mobile and roving or roving or mobile...
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::That's a nice font on your card.
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::...mobile library or mobile...
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::Either...
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::...roving library or just roving library, depending on
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::your preference.
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::I can come by anytime.
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::I'm fine with any name.
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::I'm not supposed to say that.
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::I can come by anytime.
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::Okay.
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::Alright.
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::I'll call you.
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::Bye.
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::Bye.
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::So I ended up calling that number on
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::the card, and it went directly to Marjorie's
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::phone.
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::We actually talked, her and I, for quite
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::a while.
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::And it was kind of nice, but it
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::ended up raising a whole bunch of red
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::flags, like a whole bunch of them in
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::the end.
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::So I went online to look into this
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::operation, see what I could find out.
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::And I found a whole subreddit that was
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::dedicated to letting people know about this roving
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::library.
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::And, well, it was a front for a
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::really malicious pyramid scheme.
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::It turns out that Marjorie wasn't being punched
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::in the nose for spoilers.
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::I gathered from the subreddit that I really
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::needed to get off the grid and hide
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::for at least a few weeks.
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::So I knew that the only place I
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::could hide where I was at was in
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::the heating duct vent.
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::So that's where I headed.
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::But before I did that, I needed to
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::get a bunch of food, so I ordered
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::a big bag of burritos from Daryl.
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::We all knew that they were shelf-stable
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::and didn't need to be refrigerated.
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::And then the last thing I did before
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::crawling into the heating vent was adjust my
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::murals, the one that was on the east
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::-facing wall with the stick figures.
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::I could tell the story of what was
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::happening and where I was headed with emoticons
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::in those speech bubbles instead.
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::So the thing with using emoticons is that
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::only people who are online in the 90s
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::really understand that lingo.
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::So it was a very small subset of
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::people that could actually even understand the message
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::that I left.
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::But luckily, Daryl knew emoticon messaging.
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::Daryl was online in the 90s and eventually
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::noticed that I hadn't ordered burritos for a
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::while and sort of wondered why I ordered
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::such a huge bag and never ordered again.
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::So Daryl came around and ended up looking
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::at the mural and read what I had
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::written and understood what I meant and figured
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::out that I was in the heating vent.
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::So Daryl took off, went and got a
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::bean burrito, tied it to a rope and
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::threw it down the heating vent to where
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::I was and ended up coursing me out
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::like some rabid animal with the bean burrito.
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::Once I got to the surface or, I
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::don't know, the wall and Daryl saw my
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::gloves and then saw me looking at the
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::gloves and then both of our eyes raised
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::up and locked at the same time, we
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::knew that it was something.
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::We didn't know what it was because we
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::barely knew each other, but we knew it
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::was something.
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::And then I told Daryl all about this
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::malicious pyramid scheme thing and Daryl knew that
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::it wasn't safe for me there anymore, so
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::we actually decided to take off.
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::It was a lot.
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::We were, you know, driving off together, barely
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::knowing each other, but we knew that it
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::was the right thing to do.
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::So I left the room.
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::I knew that the event didn't really matter
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::now with my life on the line.
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::So before we headed off to the Oregon
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::coast to live in a cabin in the
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::woods, Daryl and I stopped at the thrift
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::store to just pick up a few things
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::for a new place.
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::And while I was there, I saw the
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::most stunning set of dining room chairs, like
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::the nicest ones you've ever seen.
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::They had that rattan back and they were
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::like this 70s look.
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::They had kind of this really nice mustard
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::yellow vinyl seating on them, like a beam
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::of sunlight was emanating through the window down
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::onto the set of dining room chairs.
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::And I saw a little piece of paper
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::just sticking out and I kind of tore
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::it off the chair a little bit.
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::It was stuck with some probably residue from
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::some soda.
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::And it was an invite to the dining
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::room chairs event, the same one I'd been
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::waiting for.
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::And it turned out that it was in
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::that same apartment complex, but a few rooms
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::over, which explains a lot, actually.
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::I heard what sounded like a pretty cool
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::event.
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::Anyways, I guess that was, that was my
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::fault.
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::I went to the wrong room.
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::Turns out after all that, but it ended
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::up better in the end.
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::I learned about myself.
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::I learned about others.
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::I'd met great people.
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::I met Daryl and here we were heading
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::out to the Oregon coast.
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::And that's where we've been since.
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::We have never found any reason to leave
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::this cabin.
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::We stayed within these four walls.
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::We have a new burrito person delivering us
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::bean burritos called Burl Booch.
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::And it's just, it's perfection.
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::You actually don't need a whole lot in
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::life.
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::And when you remove so much, it actually
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::becomes pretty simple.
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::And what means a lot to us becomes
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::a lot clearer.
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::We just kind of need each other and
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::we need to not forget about each other
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::too.
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::And if we have people that just remember
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::that we exist, that's enough.
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::It's enough for me anyways.
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::So I hope you have a good time.
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::I hope you have a good life.
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::And I hope you find some people that
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::notice when you disappear.
